The past several weeks of work have been a whirlwind. The activities of covering the schedule of daily classes at the studio to presenting the whole weekend of Teacher Training to running the ‘behind the scenes’ nuts and bolts of a small business have left me admittedly a bit depleted. It is funny though, when I am in the actual moments of teaching, I feel exhilarated and excited like a deeper energy is welling up and directing the course. One of the cooler things too is that while it is happening, I am fully aware of my witness consciousness’ awareness of it. Awareness of awareness. I always heard about this phenomenon, and now I am actually experiencing it on a regular basis. I cannot help but think this insightfulness is a cause de the more frequent and consistent sitting meditation sessions.
But then there are the times lately, outside of the classroom when dealing with important responsibilities of daily life…taking care of family, dogs, house keeping, bill paying, eating healthfully, and taking care of myself. Oops. It seems that I find myself in a state of imbalance. Not enough sleep, too much coffee, an enormous pile of laundry… But I think this happens to so many of us in our go-getter, attainment-oriented, career driven culture. I am re-reading Eat Pray Love (which is hysterical, insightful, entertaining, and just plain fun) and laughed out loud at this line:
“Of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure).”
So I found myself in this state yesterday, and got a little worried because I know that I have another 6 days of work ahead of me- lots of teaching and book keeping, and house guest coming and a yoga workshop to host, and the house, and the groceries, and blahdeblahdeblahdeblah…
And then I remembered why I am doing all of this. Hatha yoga is a system, that when practiced skillfully, heals, energizes, brings us to our best selves, is fun, and creates community. Our area needs more yoga classes and therefore needs more trained yoga teachers. When I remember that it is all in service to the people and health of our community, I am re-energized. Then I remember that in a few short days, I too will get to be a student again in a classroom with my teacher. And then a week later I travel to study with John Friend, the leader of this fantastic Anusara Yoga that I love so dearly. I will be a student with other teachers who are out there working to bring the light of yoga into their communities. Practicing alongside them, sharing stories and experiences of our paths. The predictability of the energetic benefits of being a student once again jazzes me up and makes me excited to be in the midst of doing my dharma. And then I realize what a great gift and blessing it is to be so tired from THIS work. I am so so so blessed and grateful for this moment—every facet of it. And psyched beyond belief to be going to work to teach yoga at Yoga Birds this morning. Somebody pinch me! OM.